Hello, Poetry Friend
The first line I learned from Naomi Shihab Nye’s poem “Kindness” was “You must wake up with sorrow.” Because Nye is right: Before we can know and show kindness, we must know sorrow. That’s how we can recognize it in others.
Inner Cave
Eventually all heroes have to enter the un-enterable: the inner cave, the underworld, the realm of the dead. We enter; we leave changed.
Poet Naomi Shihab Nye’s life was changed on her honeymoon. She and her husband were traveling through South America, when there was an attack on the bus they were riding. They lost things (including their passports), but they were okay. Not everyone was — one man was killed. While her new husband went to the consulate, Nye sat in the plaza, where strangers were kind to her, and she wrote a poem. She said it came to her whole cloth, in this inner cave that was out in the open.
Motherhood Unkindness
The unkindest cut of all has come from other family members, specifically a couple I’ll call the Dursleys, as in Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia of the Harry Potter universe. Although they treat Harry very badly, they are not evil, like Voldemort. They are, in fact, Dumbledore’s best protection for Harry until he comes of age. This doesn’t make them any nicer, but Harry does learn to treat them with kindness, especially in the last book.
I have no reason to think my Dursleys will change. But who knows? Dudley did leave a cup of tea outside Harry’s bedroom door.
So far this cave hasn’t gotten any brighter through the years. It’s a cave, y’all. But now I know how to walk in the dark.
“Kindness”
Before you know what kindness really is you must lose things, feel the future dissolve in a moment like salt in a weakened broth. What you held in your hand, what you counted and carefully saved, all this must go so you know how desolate the landscape can be between the regions of kindness. How you ride and ride thinking the bus will never stop, the passengers eating maize and chicken will stare out the window forever. Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho lies dead by the side of the road. You must see how this could be you, how he too was someone who journeyed through the night with plans and the simple breath that kept him alive. Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside, you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing. You must wake up with sorrow. You must speak to it till your voice catches the thread of all sorrows and you see the size of the cloth. Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore, only kindness that ties your shoes and sends you out into the day to gaze at bread, only kindness that raises its head from the crowd of the world to say It is I you have been looking for, and then goes with you everywhere like a shadow or a friend. –Naomi Shihab Nye
This poem could have had a different title — “Murder” for its trauma, or possibly “Honeymoon,” in an ironic twist. But Nye titled it “Kindness.” That’s her takeway because when she went into the inner cave, she left different, touched by the kindness of others.
Most important: She wrote. She had her pencil and paper with her and she used them. Her words have helped me and so many others. I bet they helped her too.
Poetry Journal
Read Nye’s poem. Jot down what you notice, what you like, what you don’t, what questions you have, and at least one way in which the poem speaks to your soul.
What unexpected title might we give our story in the inner cave?
Listen to Nye read her poem at “On Being.” (The whole interview with her is so great.) Pick one phrase or line or stanza you can tuck deep in your heart.
Write your own haiku about this stage of your hero’s poetry journey. (Mine is at meganwillome.com.) If you like, email me what you write.
Happy Poeming!
Megan
Naomi Shihab Nye’s poem “Kindness” resonated with me on so many layers. Her line that inspired this difficult poem is “You must wake up with sorrow.”
Sorrow is a Sickbed
Sorrow is a sickbed of fever and sweat
Burning, welcoming death.
Terror and darkness envelope
The room, filling it with dread.
Kindness are the hands that wash my body
Broken, pricked, pierced
With sickness, tragedy
Sweet fragrance of soap replaces dread.
Sorrow is losing hope
That they will ever come around
Bringing the shards of hurt
As an offering to burn them up.
Kindness is the Encourager
An Angel to say
“You will get better,
You will be stronger”.
Making sickness my friend
Gave me the kindness
Of others, their
Sacrifices, their gifts.
Joy does come in the morning
As a light that pierces the night
Wrapping me in
Coverings of Love.
Thank you, fine poem and accompanying words.
Yes, you must "lose things" in order to "find" yourself.
“In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.” Tom Bodett
“The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.” Gilbert K Chesterton
“We are the Lessons learned from the Tests of Time tossed to us by Life. The ultimate Test is Loss. The Lesson you have learned from Loss is Who You Are. Let that be Love.” Every Man Jack
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