Poetry Pairs, 6

"With My Mother, Missing the Train" & Merry Nell Drummond

Today is my mom’s birthday. And to honor her I want to pair her with what may be my favorite poem featured in my first book, The Joy of Poetry: “With My Mother, Missing the Train” by Helena Nelson.

The mother in the poem does not resemble my mother very much. At least, not as I remember her. But this is a poem in which a daughter re-evaluates her mother as a person in her own right. That’s something that can take a lifetime to do. Some of us never do it.

With My Mother,
Missing the Train

She was always late. At the final minute
we'd run for the city train, which roared right past,
its line of faces scanning us not in it.
The world was turned to terror by the blast
of hot departing wheels. Air seized my mother,
crushing her flustered skirts into a flurry
with me there clinging. Hush, there'll be another,
she'd say to keep me calm. No need to worry.
But there was a need. The speed of things was true
and rushing traffic urged us both ahead.
I wanted to race again, to burst right through
and make the great train wait. She never said
that missing things was serious, till I grew.
She held my hand more tightly than I knew.

–Helena Nelson

I lost my mom when I was 39, so there are lot of things we didn’t get to talk about. (She wanted to; I was not ready.) But each year, as I get older, I feel more and more like I am her, even as I wear her shoes. I wish I could make her a cup of tea and ask, Mom, is this what you were like at 52? What about at 39? Will my 64 feel like yours?

I like to read Nelson’s poem and imagine what Merry Nell was feeling when she held my hand. I wish I could communicate to my kids what Megan was feeling when I held theirs.

Poetry Journal

• Read Helena Nelson’s poem. (Bonus points if you recognized it’s a form poem — a sonnet!)

• Jot down what you notice, what you like, what you don’t, what questions you have, and at least one way in which the poem speaks to you.

• Read the poem aloud every day for a week. (Until I share the next poem, on Wednesday.) Is a pairing arising?

• Write your own poem about “With My Mother, Missing the Train” and the new association is has for you. (My book The Joy of Poetry is all about pairing poems with my mom’s journey with cancer.) If you like, email me what you write.

Happy poeming!

Megan